


Impasse

by Naemi



Series: Crime Shows Shorts [3]
Category: Law & Order: SVU
Genre: Drama, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-07-30
Updated: 2015-07-30
Packaged: 2018-04-12 03:52:15
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 444
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4464440
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Naemi/pseuds/Naemi
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The walls of his tiny apartment seem to close in on him, a feeling he's used to by now.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Impasse

 

“No visits until you get your act together. I will not have Zara exposed to your … negativity. That's final.”

“Maria, listen—”

She hangs up on Nick like she did last time. And the time before. He clutches his phone so hard that his knuckles go white, but at least he controls the urge to throw it against the wall. As far as he's concerned, that's an accomplishment.

He runs a sweaty hand through his hair. The walls of his tiny apartment seem to close in on him, a feeling he's used to by now.

Without bothering to brush aside the clothes strewn all over the couch, he slumps down and tosses his cell on the still-packed moving box that serves as his coffee table. The phone lands with an accusing, dull sound right in front of the tumbler that holds half of yesterday's second nightcap. For a moment, he's tempted to empty the drink, stale and warm as it may be. Instead, he stares at it while the clock ticks away the minutes.

With the job offer collapsing and no friends around, Nick realized quickly that it takes more than a move to sort out your life. On top of having too much time on his hands, Maria started calling him out on his “lackluster way of living” and cut down on his time with Zara. If Nick had thought that they were past all the fighting, he was damned mistaken.

He sits in his apartment day in and day out, wearing the same clothes, watching re-runs of shows he doesn't like, and eating greasy take-out until all his self-pity has dissolved like carbon acid in an open bottle, leaving him to a blissful state of nothingness that's only interrupted by the weekly phone calls to his ex-wife.

Now that Zara is so close again while remaining out of his reach, he misses her more fiercely than ever. He hates Maria for denying him contact with his daughter—yet, at the same time, he can't blame her, for he knows he's become a ragged version of his former self. It's a vicious circle. If he doesn't get a grip, he doesn't get to see Zara, and if he doesn't get to see Zara … he doesn't feel like getting a grip at all.

A familiar tightness chokes him—bitter like bile—one that only a strong drink or a good brawl can chase away. Either demands too much effort right now.

Nick drops his head in his hands. Outside the small window, the sunlight creeps past until it's replaced by the blinding lights of a foreign and uncomfortable city. He doesn't notice.

He doesn't care.

**Author's Note:**

> Written for [Small Fandoms Flashfiction](http://smallfandomflsh.livejournal.com), challenge #153: Ennui.
> 
> Beta'd by the wonderful **Moit** , who also made sure that all characters were returned unharmed.
> 
> [Visit my LJ-community [Bunny Bash](http://bunnybash.livejournal.com) to leave me a prompt at any time.]
> 
> [Feedback is love.]


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